Some of you already aware of my plight with the USPS. But I need to rant anyway. Considering the number of citizens that receive mail in this country, I'm actually surprised I have had no major grievance with this department before, but when you become a victim of the system, you become aware of its glaring flaws. And somehow the flaws of our government agencies far surpass in both number and severity the flaws of private companies and corporations.
In March, yes, two months ago, we began getting mail with someone's handwritten note on the envelope, "Please read!" with our address circled. Coupled with an postmark far surpassing the time normal mail takes to arrive, it was clear that our mail was being delivered elsewhere. It started with a letter here or there. And by letter, most of the time it was an unimportant piece of junk mail. However, the frequency of this occurrence became more regular and with a variety of posts and parcels. Bills that we received weeks late (good thing I pay most online), missing magazines. All eventually arriving with the same handwritten notes, in the same handwriting. They were going to the same elsewhere, consistently.
Then one day, a Wednesday the first week of April to be exact (I know this because it was "trash day," which is an important detail in the unfolding drama), I am leaving the house with Cavan, and sitting on top of our trashcan that Hubby had brought to the curb in the morning was a giant box. Odd. Upon inspecting it, I see that it is a shipment of roses that I had ordered from a mail order nursery. I was actually getting ready to call them to say that the package had never arrived, despite the shipping notice from the prior week.
There were three major problems with this situation. 1) Roses are live plants and the delay of receiving this package due to postal error actually resulted in one of the two bushes dying. 2) Now major packages were going to the wrong address, rather than just regular mail. 3) Whoever did deliver the box, whether it was the mystery neighbor who had received it or the postal carrier, was an idiot. Why put a package on top of a garbage can, you freakin' moron! Our garbage is usually picked up in the A.M. before I leave for work. Good thing our trash men were late on this particular morning or my roses would have been incinerated with the rest of the can's contents.
So now I am pissed. But because I work, I am unable to go to the local post office to complain in a timely manner. I have to wait another week until Spring Break when I am off from school because the post office's hours coincide with my work hours exactly. So I go the following week. I walk up to the counter. There is no one in line, no one behind me. I tell the postal man a brief synopsis, all the while being pleasant. This total douche says, "Well where is your mail going?" This is why this guy is selling stamps. "I was hoping you could tell me. Is the post master available?" I respond. Still being nice. Clearly this guy cannot help that he is an idiot.
From the back room I hear, "Her mail was going to 62 WALNUT. It has been resolved." Replaying this scene in my head I feel like Dorothy in the Wizard of Oz being duped by the man behind the green curtain. "Great!" I say. "So there is nothing else I need to do, no forms or anything to make sure my mail comes to my address?" Again, the wizard responds, "It's BEEN RESOLVED!" Thank you very much!
And it seemed to be...for a while. But then, marked up letters began appearing again. And then my sister tells me that she mailed Cavan a package of stickers in a manila envelope. A week later, they still haven't arrive. Now, nearly a month later, still no sign of them. Certainly missing stickers are not of dire consequence, but they were paid for and sent nonetheless, and I want my freakin' mail to actually arrive at my house. The same week I fail to receive a wedding invitation; I know it was sent out and I know I am invited!
But it gets worse. My aunt calls me the following week to tell me to expect a package, an impromptu gift. She mailed both my sister and I a pair of sterling silver earrings. Sis received hers in four day. This is now three weeks past. Guess where mine are. Who the hell knows! Maybe the residents of 62 Walnut are wearing them as I write this. Maybe they are at some other 62 Street that I don't know about. Maybe the mail carrier is taking my mail, preparing to steal my identity (and fashion sense). Maybe some delinquent kid is stealing packages out of our box (though possible, all signs are pointing to this being the least likely scenario).
I do not go to our local post office to complain. Instead I log a formal complaint with national USPS, complete with a confirmation number. The administrator that I spoke with said I would receive a call back within two business days to update me on the status and/or resolution of my complaint. I was due to receive the call on Tuesday, May 17. I called USPS this morning, the 20th, to follow up because I had received no feedback. Obviously. Again, government proficiency at its best.
Here is a paraphrase of the conversation:
Me: Hello. I'm calling to follow up on a case #. Can you please give me an update as I didn't receive a call back.
USPS: Let me look that up and I'm sorry you were not notified.
Me: Thanks.................(on hold)........................
USPS: It looks like your local office identified a postal agent that was fresh out of training that appears to be responsible for the misdelivered mail. The situation has been resolved.
Me: (Thought bubble: Do USPS agents practice the phrase, "The situation has been resolved.")
Me: So what about my missing mail and packages?
USPS: If the mail was insured, you can file a claim.
Me: So if it was not insured, it's just gone?
USPS: I'm sorry ma'am.
Me: But you have identified the agent that misdelivered the mail, and you previously identified the address to which my mail was being regularly delivered, so why can't you go to that address and request my mail?
USPS: It is against regulations to take back mail that has already been delivered.
Me: But it is my mail. With my name and my address? Isn't it against the law to tamper with someone else's mail.
USPS: There is nothing we can do.
Me: So what you're saying is that I should only use UPS and FedEX for anything I wish to safely send or receive?
USPS: Not at all ma'am. The situation (can you fill in the blank!)
Me: But what about all the mail I don't know about? Those could be my personal documents. Are you saying that I have to go try to recover my mail at this address personally?
USPS: There is nothing more I can tell you.
Me: (pissed) Well that is helpful. Goodbye.
So it's illegal to even open someone else's mailbox, and it's a federal offense to steal someone else's mail. But there are no repercussions or follow-up when a postal carrier admits to delivering your mail to the wrong address. Why can't the person that is keeping/receiving/stealing my mail be prosecuted, reprimanded, or even approached? Apparently the government is saying that it's not really stealing if it is found in your mailbox. Last time I checked, it would still be wrong to find a wallet on the street with $100 dollars in it AND a driver's license and not return it to its rightful owner, intact!
What is even worse is that now I can't help but feel that the residents of the nearby 62 Walnut, people that I could actually come in contact with during my everyday life, are thieves. That sucks, feeling like you have criminals in your neighborhood. All my direct neighbors are wonderful; how dare the post office taint my impressions of the people I live adjacent to.
Plan of action:
1) Send Hubby down to 62 Walnut to question them. Maybe it's an old lady who is keeping my mail safe, hoping we'll come to collect it.
2) Visit the local post office in person to complain again. Maybe they'll slip up and give me more information than they're "allowed to do."
3) Talk to my local mail carrier (not the new guy, but the nice lady that usually does our route.) Hubby sees her in the deli all the time. Maybe she could shed some light on this travesty.
To be continued...
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